MARK THE OCCASION: Transitional Parties & the New You
Not everyone knows this about me, but I went through a divorce a few years ago. I was recently tapped to give some tips to Oprah Magazine on how to throw a divorce party and it made me really want to share my thoughts on not only the idea of a divorce party - but a party as a way to really transition you from one phase in life to another.
People are always looking for something to bring them together - this is just another manifestation of that. Typically, divorce is not commemorated, let alone celebrated - but this is a way of flipping the script and really marking the milestone. Most cultures have rituals that mark the transition from single to married, but this serves as a way to mark the journey from marriage back to being single. It allows you to take the awkwardness and antiquated narrative that regards divorce as some sort of failure and really empower yourself.
For many people, it can serve as a cathartic way to close the chapter and transition to your new found freedom and gain a sense of your identity back. As long as you are mindful about certain things, it can really serve as a great way to usher in your new life.
Who hosts—the divorce/e, a friend, or family member?
Typically the divorce/e or a friend or family member. The important thing is to ensure the divorce/e is in the right mindset to celebrate and not feeling too much of a disconnect with who they are. If it's too soon, the party can be toxic or overly dramatic, when it should serve as hopeful.
Who should you invite to such an event?
All the friends and family that have been your network of support during the long and emotional process of the divorce. You have to recognize that some people will not feel uncomfortable attending this type of event, so it's best to keep it to relatives and friends that will get the concept and be on board. I would also leave any children out, regardless of their age, since there is a certain loyalty to both parents and this can feel like a choice to them.
What do you typically do at a divorce party? Any ideas for tasteful themes or activities would be great!
The overarching ‘theme’ of divorce party can be as prevalent or discreet as you care to make it. Themes like ‘Survivor’ and ‘All the Single Ladies’ can be really fun or it can simply serve as a way to thank friends and family for being there through the divorce. I feel it's always best to make it more about you and not totally center it around your ex. There are some great ways to usher in your new life, while keeping humor in the situation and having some cheeky fun.
Last but not least: No Bad Vibes!
Create a playlist of the best break up tunes to create the right ambiance for the party. Play iconic movies about divorce in the background on a projector or tv, like ‘War of the Roses’ and ‘First-Wives Club’. Create some tongue-in-cheek names for your signature cocktails i.e “Ground for Divorce” espresso martini, “So Long Island Iced Tea” or a “Gin & Toxic”… haha! Get rid of something symbolic to the marriage.